The Blizzard
by Terry-McElrath
Summary: Kenshin collapses in a blizzard and is helped on his way by a kind stranger. Set three years after the Bakumatsu. Complete.
1. Chapter One

**Disclaimer:** This fan fiction is based on the Rurouni Kenshin manga and anime series. Rurouni Kenshin characters are the property of creator Watsuki Nobuhiro, Shueisha, Shonen Jump, Sony Entertainment, and VIZ Comics. This is a non-profit work for entertainment purposes only. Permission was not obtained from the above parties.

_**The Blizzard**_

Written by Terry L. McElrath

**Chapter One**

_So cold!_ Kenshin thought miserably as he stumbled forward into the frigid wind of the blizzard. Wrapping his worn coat more tightly around himself, he rubbed his numb hands over his arms in a desperate attempt to generate some warmth. He was shaking violently and could no longer feel his feet, making it even more difficult to walk. _Have to get out of this snowstorm._ The large flakes were coming down so thickly it was hard to see the road, much less spot potential shelter.

_I should have stayed at that village._ Kenshin's thoughts wandered to earlier in the day. From the way the innkeeper had talked, he hadn't thought it would take all day to reach the next town. Unfortunately, Kenshin hadn't realized how much longer than usual it would take, given the steep terrain and how weak he had become from eating so little food. The snow started coming down a couple of hours before sunset, quickly building into a major storm, slowing him down even more. He had no choice but to continue onwards, hoping to find a farm or place where he could get out of the arctic weather. _It's too late to worry about that now . . ._

Without warning, Kenshin collapsed, falling full-length onto the snowdrift-covered road. _Get up, you fool!_ screamed an anxious voice in the back of his mind. _You've got to keep going!_ "I will," Kenshin muttered, his voice slurred, "just give me a minute to rest . . . " The icy cold slowly faded away as he gradually lost consciousness.

* * *

Kioko listened to the wind howling around the eaves of the house, urging her to move closer to the warmth of the fire. _This is the worst blizzard I can remember. Perhaps I should sleep by the fire tonight. _The flames sent shadows dancing on the walls of the room, making it look emptier than usual.

This was not a good night to be alone, with only a dog for company. The memories of other cold nights – warmed by loving companionship – nearly overwhelmed her. _It has been so long, anata . . . how can I go on? What do I do now?_ Angrily, she rubbed at her eyes, trying to prevent the hot tears from falling. _What's wrong with me? I haven't been this depressed in months._ Kioko knew the cause of her weakness, though. She could hold her feelings at bay as long as she kept busy, too busy to remember painful memories. However, with nothing to do during the storm, Kioko couldn't control her thoughts.

After the accident, her friends had suggested that she come live with them. But how could she leave her home? Leave the one place where she had been happiest? It was unthinkable. Even if her husband was no longer there, she could still feel his presence.

Kioko used to love the winter because it meant extra time with her beloved. They spent the days together doing a variety of things: talking while he carved the figurines he sold to the merchants, doing chores, playing games. Loneliness was only a concept to her then, never anything she actually experienced. Even though they lived deep in the mountains, with no neighbors nearby, they were never lonely. There was always so much to do, there was never enough time in the day, and the evenings . . . _No! I will not go there! Not again!_

Kioko stood up, desperate to do something – anything – to keep herself from thinking. Methodically, she brought over her futon, unfolding it next to the fire, placing a comforter nearby. _Now then, should I bring in more wood? _She glanced at the small pile of wood lying to the side of the fire pit. _Yes, it would be a good idea. I don't really want to run out during the middle of the night._

"Want to come with me, Hebo?"

At the mention of his name, Hebo lifted his head, tongue lolling out. _What a ridiculous name for such a large dog! But he was so clumsy when he was a puppy, the name simply stuck._ He followed her to the door and waited patiently while she put on her quilted hanten. When she slid the door open, he pushed past her – almost knocking her over – and led the way to the woodpile next to the house. Placing wood into the basket she carried, she made several trips back and forth until she was satisfied with the amount of wood stacked neatly next to the fire.

Turning away, Kioko noticed that Hebo wasn't in the room. Sliding the door open, she called his name. When he didn't come running, she stepped out onto the engawa, beginning to feel irritated. _Now where did he go? It's too cold to be running around in the dark. Stupid dog!_

"Hebo! Come back here, right now!"

At last, Kioko heard his deep bark coming from down the path that led to the road. _What in the world is he doing down there?_ When he didn't return after calling him several more times, she reluctantly decided to go look for him. After going back inside to fetch a lantern, Kioko set off down the trail.

She didn't find him until she was all the way down to the road. Hebo was standing over the body of a man lying partially buried in the snow. _What?!_ Kioko struggled through the snowdrifts to get to the traveler. _Why would anyone be on the road during a blizzard?_ Finally, she reached him. Carefully rolling him over, she felt for a heartbeat, afraid that she wouldn't find one. There it was! Erratic and weak, to be sure, but still there. _I've got to get him to the house, he won't last much longer. But how? Granted, he isn't a very big man, but he's still bigger than me._ She tried to pick him up . . . impossible. _Can I drag him? No._ Frantically, Kioko tried to think. The sled she used for hauling wood! It was the only possibility.

Quickly, she took off her coat and wrapped it around the freezing stranger. The bitter cold instantly bit into her, even through the warm winter kimono she was wearing. She made Hebo lie down next to the man, hoping that the dog's warmth would keep him alive.

"Hebo! Stay, boy!"

Kioko ran back to the house as quickly as she could, slipping and sliding, cursing at the snow and wind. Once inside, she put on another hanten and grabbed a quilt. Drawing the sled behind her, Kioko headed back down the path.

Terrified that the stranger would already be dead, she knelt next to him, hoping he was still breathing. _Yes!_ Removing his sword, Kioko placed it, along with his travel bag, on the sled. She then spread the quilt out next to the man and quickly rolled him up in it. Positioning the sled beside him, she carefully pulled him onto the platform.

Praying to every kami she knew, Kioko fought her way back home. For once, she regretted living so far from the road. Hauling the sled through the snowdrifts was a nightmare. She slipped on the ice and fell to her knees more times than she could count. Each time, she would grit her teeth and stand up, struggling onward. Kioko refused to give in to the exhaustion that threatened to overcome her.

Halfway there, the man slid off when the sled almost tipped over. Breath sobbing in her throat, she wrestled to straighten the sled and reposition him. The horrendous trip continued, seeming to take forever to reach the house.

Once there, however, Kioko faced the monumental task of getting him up the stairs and inside. Gripping the quilt tightly, she began pulling, desperation giving her needed strength. Slowly, she backed her way up the stairs, being careful not to bump his head on the steps. Pausing only to slide the door open, Kioko continued dragging her burden into the house. Hebo darted inside, barking excitedly, just before she closed the door.

_Thank Kami-sama I already put out the futon! _Kioko leaned against the door, panting heavily. _Now, to get him into bed_. Bending over, she unrolled the quilt from around the man and pushed him onto the futon.

Turning quickly, she put the water kettle over the fire. Kioko returned her attention to her guest, noticing that his clothes were worn and his coat much too thin for really cold weather. _I wonder if he's a ronin, down on his luck? After all, he is carrying a sword and has his hair up in a high ponytail. I'm not surprised he collapsed, though. He's certainly not dressed warmly enough for winter in these mountains._ She began taking off his wet clothes. _He's so cold! He'll need something warm to wear._ Once his clothes were removed, Kioko carefully examined him. His lips were blue and his skin so colorless it seemed translucent. She was appalled by the number of scars on his slight body, particularly the cross-shaped scar on his left cheek. _Could he have been a soldier? But he's so young!_ Kioko saw that, although he was well-muscled, he was much too thin, his ribs showing. She tucked the warm comforter around him. What she had at first thought was dark hair, turned out to be an amazing shade of rich, vibrant red, which picked up golden highlights from the lamps and fire. _Incredible! I've never seen hair that color before. Is he a gaijin?_

Standing up, Kioko swiftly crossed the room and stepped back out into the blizzard to retrieve the man's possessions. Returning to the comfort of the fire, she looked in his travel bag for a dry sleeping robe, but did not find one. She walked over to a chest standing in the corner, hesitated for a long moment, and then opened it. Kioko reached in and pulled out a light blue yukata, which had been her husband's. Slowly, she lifted the garment, burying her face in the soft cotton robe. His scent was long gone, but she could easily remember the combination of soap and sweat that was so uniquely _him_. The images of her beloved that arose made her heart ache with loss. After a minute, though, she took a deep breath, and shook her head to dispel her sorrow. _I don't have time for this! I can't think about this now, there are things I must do. _After taking a moment to pull herself together, she fetched her medicine box, and returned to the stranger. Pulling back the comforter, Kioko dressed him in the familiar yukata, biting her lip to stop the tears that threatened to fall. When she was done, she re-covered him.

Kioko looked through her medicines, selecting one with ginseng and reishi to strengthen his body. _If he doesn't catch pneumonia, it will be a miracle! _She prepared the tea and set it aside to steep. Next, Kioko put a pot of miso broth next to the fire. _I've got to warm him from the inside, as well as the outside. I don't think he's had a good meal in a while._

When the tea was ready and cooled a bit, she poured some into a little bamboo cup. Kioko propped the unconscious man up with pillows and carefully tipped a small amount of the medicine into his mouth, lightly rubbing his throat to help him swallow. Repeating the procedure many times, she finally got him to drink all of the tea. Then she began again, this time with warm miso broth. Once she felt he had had enough, Kioko gently lowered him back down onto the futon.

Having done all she could for the moment, Kioko sat back and simply watched her patient. _He is so pale. Will he live? He should, with luck, if he doesn't get too sick._ She finally noticed that she was shivering. _Baka! I've got to get out of these damp clothes._ Kioko went behind the screen and changed into her yukata. Then she sat down next to the fire and drank some soup, enjoying the warmth that spread throughout her body. She checked the fire, adding more wood.

Leaning forward, Kioko felt under the comforter. _He's still so cold! I've got to warm him up, and quickly._ Concern for his welfare overrode her modesty. Before she could change her mind, Kioko lifted the comforter and slipped under it, positioning herself alongside the man, intent on sharing her warmth. He was so cold, it felt as though he was made of ice, even through the yukata. Kioko stretched full-length against him, lifting his head so that she could slide her left arm under, nestling his head against her shoulder. Then she put her right arm and leg over him, trying to cover him with as much of her body as possible. She felt his chest rise and fall, his breathing shallow. She was exhausted from her exertions and finally drifted off.

* * *

A slight movement next to her startled Kioko into wakefulness. _He's awake?_ She raised her head to look into his face. His eyes were still closed, only his head moving. _He's warmer, at least, thank goodness. How long was I asleep?_ Carefully, Kioko eased away from him, sliding out from under the comforter. The fire had died down considerably, so she must have been asleep for three or four hours. _Time for more tea and broth._ She rebuilt the fire and then filled the kettle.

_Is he unconscious or asleep?_ Propping him up again didn't wake him, so Kioko was careful as she fed him broth, while waiting for the medicine to steep. _Still no color in his face. Well, at least he's not running a fever . . . yet._ She was pleased when he made a face at the bitter taste of the tea. _Good, a response. He's beginning to come around._ In case he was becoming aware of his surroundings, Kioko began talking to him, "You're safe now. You don't have anything to worry about. Go back to sleep."

He must have heard her because his face relaxed, making him look even younger. Shortly thereafter, his breathing deepened and he truly slept. Observing him while he slumbered, Kioko noticed his delicate features, which seemed out of place for a swordsman. With his slight build, unusual hair and pale coloration, he was almost pretty. _How strange! If it weren't for the scars on his face, he could almost pass for a girl._ It was a good thing he was asleep, because otherwise she couldn't have looked at him so closely without being unforgivably rude.

Hearing another voice later was almost shocking, it had been so long since Kioko had talked to anyone. "Tomoe? Tomoe?! Please, come back . . ." The words were spoken with such sorrow that her heart went out to the stranger. "Please . . . come back . . ." His eyes were tightly closed, but he seemed to still be asleep, although his head was thrashing from side to side. "Tomoe!"

Kioko laid her hand against his forehead to soothe him, murmuring, "It's all right, everything's going to be all right." He calmed a bit and stopped tossing his head. "That's right, relax," she said softly. She sat back, wondering what nightmare he was having. _Whoever Tomoe is, she seems to be very important to him. I wonder what happened._

The morning found her still beside the stranger. She was preparing another cup of medicinal tea, when Kioko heard a soft sound behind her. She turned to find herself staring into the most beautiful violet eyes she had ever seen. He was looking at her blankly, obviously trying to understand what had happened. "Good morning, how are you feeling?"

"Oro? Good morning . . . much better, thank you very much. How did sessha get here?" His voice, while soft, had a charming, musical quality. _Where am I? _Kenshin wondered._ I fell in the snow. I couldn't keep walking . . ._

"Good! My name is Miyuki Kioko. You are at my house. I found you last night . . . well, actually, my dog found you last night. You were unconscious on the road." She reached over to feel his forehead. "You still don't have a fever. Perhaps you will not get sick, after all." _Sessha? 'Unworthy one?'_

"Thank you very much, Miyuki-dono. I'm very sorry to have bothered you."

"Nonsense! What was I supposed to do, leave you there to freeze to death?" she asked, with some asperity. "Let me help you sit up, so you can drink your medicine."

Soon he was sitting up against the pillows, still looking wan. His hand shook slightly when he took the cup she gave him. His face contorted, but he drank the tea down quickly.

Kioko handed him a piece of candy. "Eat this, it will help. I know the tea tastes awful, but it is very effective."

"Thank you, Miyuki-dono." _What an understatement! That tea is positively nasty. Well, Shishou always said that medicine wouldn't work if it didn't taste bad._

"Please! Call me Kioko, Miyuki-dono makes me feel old."

"Yes, Kioko-dono."

"May I ask your name?"

"Sessha is a rurouni." _I can't tell her my name, _Kenshin thought_, she might know it. It doesn't seem that she recognizes me, though._

"You wish me to call you Rurouni?"

"Yes, that is what this one is." Kenshin looked down at himself, just now noticing the yukata he wore. "Oro?"

"Don't worry, Rurouni-san, that's one of my late husband's yukatas. I'll have your clothes ready later."

"Your late husband's . . . you . . . are alone here?"

"Yes, Rurouni-san, there is no one else here. It was important to get you warm as quickly as possible, you were nearly frozen. Fortunately, I saw no sign of frostbite. You are very lucky."

His eyes widened, as the impact of what she said hit him. _Then, she must have been the one who undressed . . ._ He blushed a delicate shade of pink.

_Amazing! He's blushing!_ Quickly turning away to hide her smile, Kioko filled a bowl with broth. "Please, have some soup, Rurouni-san. Your strength will come back more quickly if you eat."

"Just rurouni, please. Thank you, Kioko-dono." He took the bowl of soup without hesitation and began drinking. Kenshin watched her over the edge of the bowl, uncertain of the situation. He saw a calm young woman, with hazel eyes and dark brown, almost black, hair. There was a certain air of sadness around her, but she seemed to radiate a sense of composure. She didn't seem old enough to be a widow. "Is a town nearby, Kioko-dono? Sessha does not wish to impose upon you, that he does not."

"The town of Koshi is ten miles away. I'm afraid you won't be traveling for at least a day or two, Rurouni, because the blizzard is still going strong. I haven't had company for quite a while, so I'm delighted to have you stay."

The short conversation seemed to tire the rurouni, so Kioko removed the pillows and helped him to lie back down. He closed his eyes and soon went back to sleep. After changing her clothes, she let Hebo out. Placing her biggest cauldron over the fire, she filled it after fetching several buckets of water from the well. Kioko set out her laundry tub and gathered up the rurouni's clothes. The only clothing in his travel bag was a faded brown gi, which was even more threadbare than the black one he had been wearing, and a shabby grey hakama, both of which she added to the small pile of laundry. _How could a man get by with so little clothing?_ Her husband hadn't been that much bigger than the rurouni. It should be possible to alter some of his clothes to fit the smaller man. He certainly needed warmer clothes for the winter. It would give her something to do during the next couple of days.

The wonderful smell of cooking food woke Kenshin. He opened his eyes and saw his clothes were drying on a rack next to the fire, his sakabatou and travel bag nearby. He felt warm and rested for the first time in days._ I was beginning to think I would never be warm again._ A blast of cold wind announced the entry of Kioko, who came in with a basket of wood, followed by a large black dog. He immediately struggled to get up to help, only to be scolded: "Lie back down, Rurouni! Don't be silly, you're not in any shape to get up!" Unable to argue with the logic of the statement, given how shaky he felt, he unhappily did as he was told.

She crossed the room and placed the basket near the fire. After checking the pot next to the fire, Kioko poured hot water into a cup. "Your medicine will be ready in a few minutes, Rurouni. I hope you're hungry, because I made enough for a small army."

"Yes, Kioko-dono, this one is hungry. The food smells delicious, that it does." He carefully sat up on the futon, crossing his legs.

"Good!" She dished up a bowlful of rice and fish. Setting it, a pair of hashi and a small dish of pickles on a tray, she spread a cloth over the futon before placing the tray in front of the rurouni. Kioko then filled a bowl for herself. "Are you warm enough, Rurouni? Would you like a blanket around your shoulders?"

"It is not necessary, Kioko-dono, I'm comfortable, thank you." Picking up the hashi, Kenshin softly muttered "itadakimasu," and began eating.

They ate in a companionable silence, neither of them needing to fill the quiet with unnecessary talk. It had been a long time since Kioko had enjoyed a meal as much. It felt good to be helpful to another again.

While Kenshin was never truly comfortable in the presence of women, he was surprised at how relaxed he felt around her. Since she lived alone, she was obviously a capable woman. She didn't chatter all the time, act flighty or coy, as did so many other women. Everything about her was calm and serene. Although he could sense her loneliness, she did not demand attention. _Why is she alone? Doesn't she have any friends or family?_

"Rurouni, I'm curious," Kioko finally asked, "why were you walking through the mountains in the winter?"

"Well, Kioko-dono," Kenshin said, speaking slowly, "I plan on spending the winter along the seashore further south. Unfortunately, I became ill and my departure was delayed. I had thought to accompany a merchant caravan, perhaps as a guard or cook, but the last one left while I was still sick. It has taken longer to cross the mountains than expected, and I was taken by surprise when the blizzard struck."

Kioko nodded sympathetically. "I see, just bad luck. Well, it seems your fortune has changed now." _He was sick, was he? That helps explain why he is so thin. _

The rest of the morning passed peacefully, with the rurouni sleeping for much of the time. Kenshin got dressed as soon as his clothes were dry, which made him feel better. He watched her do a few light chores and tried not to feel guilty for not helping out. She surprised him by noticing his discomfort.

"Don't worry about helping me, Rurouni. You can do what you like tomorrow and I won't argue with you. Just relax for today." _What an interesting man. Why does he seem to feel that he doesn't deserve even the smallest of kindnesses? Why is he alone?_

Kenshin woke up in the afternoon to find she was hemming a light green hakama. He laid there, watching her perform the simple task. It was nice to not have to worry about anything for a change. For a while he did not have to keep looking over his shoulder. _I have to leave as soon as the weather clears up, though. I can't risk endangering this kind woman. But, for now, it feels good . . ._

Seeing that he was awake, Kioko asked, "Would you like some tea?" She picked up the teapot and set it in front of him before he could reply. "You said you are a rurouni. Have you traveled long?"

He poured himself a cup of tea while he considered his reply. Kenshin hoped she would not press him for information about his past, but could not refuse to answer her question. "Yes, Kioko-dono. Sessha has traveled for three years."

"Could you tell me a bit about your travels, Rurouni? I haven't been much beyond these mountains."

Kenshin made himself comfortable and began telling her some of the more amusing stories of his journey. He found she was a good listener and he talked for longer than he had in a long time, sometimes losing himself in the memories.

Kioko was well aware that the rurouni was carefully avoiding speaking about anything prior to three years ago. _Three years . . . the war ended about three years ago. Was he involved in the Revolution? How could he? He's so young! His scars . . . did he get his scars during the war? But he doesn't want to talk about it, obviously. So be it._ She had never been one to pry and Kioko was certain that his earlier memories must be painful, although she wasn't sure why. She simply enjoyed listening to him talk while she sewed, laughing at some of the ridiculous situations he had found himself in.

The rest of the day went by quickly. Everyday chores seemed easier, not that there were that many to do, anyway. The rurouni's appreciation for every little thing she did, made even fixing dinner feel like a celebration. After letting Hebo out one last time and stoking up the fire for the night, she laid out a futon behind the screen, leaving the rurouni to prepare for bed in privacy. "Good night, Rurouni," Kioko called out.

"Good night, Kioko-dono."

* * *

Kenshin awoke surprised to find her already up, fixing breakfast. His training ensured that he was always aware when people were around him, even when he was asleep. After a moment's thought, Kenshin realized that he must have subconsciously recognized that she wasn't a threat and continued to sleep even after she got up. Usually, he got up at dawn. Obviously, he was more drained than he had thought. _It was certainly a good thing that she found me. I would have died in the snowstorm if she hadn't._ Granted, he hadn't wanted to live for a long time, but he had made a promise to Tomoe and he could not throw his life away. Her voice interrupted his musing.

"Good morning, Rurouni! Breakfast will be ready in a minute."

"Good morning, Kioko-dono. It smells good, that it does."

After they finished eating, Kioko suggested, "Perhaps you would like to wash up, Rurouni. There is plenty of hot water ready." Kioko filled two wooden buckets and set them next to her laundry tub, on a rug behind the screen. She laid out soap, a washcloth, and some drying sheets on a small stool.

"Thank you, Kioko-dono, it is most thoughtful of you to think of this, that it is."

Kenshin went behind the screen, looking forward to being clean again. Bathing did not take long, although washing his hair was a bit more difficult. Soon he was dressed and feeling much better. He walked back into the main room, still drying his hair. He was pleased that he only felt slightly weak this morning. _It's amazing what a little food will do. My supplies have been pretty low for a while. Can't let that happen. I can't afford to let myself get this weak. There's no telling when I'll have to fight again. I can't protect anyone else if I can't even protect myself!_ He walked over to the window and sighed when he saw that the blizzard still seemed to be blowing at full strength. Turning back to the fire, he took a comb out of his travel bag and began working the snarls out of his hair.

"Sorry, Rurouni, it looks like you're stuck here today." _He needs to rest more, anyway. At least this way he can't argue with me!_ Kioko watched him combing his hair, enjoying the sight of the shining red locks reaching down to his waist.

After emptying and cleaning Kioko's laundry tub, Kenshin helped out by bringing in firewood, buckets of water, and sweeping the floor. The look on her face when he picked up the broom was priceless. _I guess her husband didn't do many household chores,_ he laughed to himself. When he worked at inns, sweeping was one of his regular duties.

Having finished the few morning tasks, Kioko selected a dark green gi and started shortening the sleeves. This gave her the opportunity to observe the rurouni without being too obvious. He seemed much stronger today, with a bit of color in his cheeks. _All he needed was a chance to get warm and some food to eat. You know, he really is very good looking. This green is a good color for him, it will show off his red hair well._ She was puzzled by the rurouni, though. He was always polite and anxious to be helpful. He smiled frequently, although she noticed it didn't always reach his eyes, which were usually guarded. Whenever he thought she wasn't looking, his cheerful expression would slip, making him look very sad and lonely. _He's been through a lot and it has affected him pretty badly. He won't let himself rely on anyone. He is such a riddle._

The rurouni pleased her by talking some more about his journeying. His words painted wonderful pictures of places she would never see. It seemed like he had walked all over Japan. He was less reticent today, more open. _Perhaps it's because he knows that I won't pressure him to talk about things he doesn't want to. Certainly, he hasn't pried into my past. He seems to be very sensitive about emotional issues._

Kioko accepted his offer to cook dinner, albeit somewhat dubiously. The tasty meal was quite a treat. She couldn't remember the last time someone had cooked a meal for her. His gratitude for her honest appreciation made her feel flustered. _Surely someone must have respected his skills before, hadn't they? Why does such a kind man feel so worthless?_ The more time Kioko spent with the gentle rurouni, the higher her regard went.

* * *

The sounds of tortured moaning woke her in the middle of the night. Alarmed, Kioko ran to the rurouni's futon. He was obviously in the middle of a terrible nightmare. His face was covered in sweat, his breathing ragged. He fought the covers as though they were demons trying to tear him apart. Kioko spoke to him softly, trying to wake him, but he seemed oblivious, trapped in his own personal hell. So she reached out and gently shook his shoulder. The rurouni reacted instantly by lashing out at her with his fist, knocking her aside. Abruptly, he sat upright, grabbed his sword, and drew it from its sheath in one smooth movement, aiming it directly at her. He looked around wildly, panting heavily, as though he had been fighting. Blanching, his eyes widened in shock – changing from amber to violet in an instant – when he saw her cringing away from his sword, her hand pressed to her reddening cheek.

"Oh, Kami-sama! I'm very sorry, Kioko-dono! Please, forgive me! I'm so sorry!" Kenshin exclaimed, his voice trembling. He looked down at the sword in his hand and dropped it as though it were burning. Reaching towards her, he whispered, "Are you all right? Did I hurt you badly? I . . . almost . . . gods! . . . I almost . . ."

It took all of her self-control to stay still, to not flinch away from the distraught rurouni. Then she became angry with herself for her fearful reaction. _Fool! You know he was a soldier! You don't just wake up a soldier from a nightmare like that, you __**know**__ that! _Kioko took a deep breath and sat up. "I'm fine, don't worry about me, Rurouni-san. It was very stupid of me to wake you like that."

Eyes stricken, Kenshin looked at her cheek, which was already showing signs of bruising. He shook his head, letting his hand drop, and turned away from her. _How could I __**do**__ that?! I thought I had learned how to control my reactions better than that. I hit her! I . . . __**hit**__ . . . her! I can't protect others . . . __**I'm**__ the one people need to be protected from!_ "I'm very sorry, Kioko-dono," Kenshin repeated hoarsely.

He looked so ashamed of himself that Kioko immediately moved forward and carefully put her arms around him, wordlessly forgiving him. He sat there stiffly, unmoving within her arms. "Rurouni, please listen to me. You did not mean to hit me, it was a reflex, I know that. I understand that you were a soldier. It may take years before your fighting reflexes relax, especially when you are startled. My father was a soldier when he was young and I remember some of the nightmares he had. I cannot blame you for my own stupidity." Kioko felt him slowly begin to relax. Gently, she released him, watching him closely.

Kenshin raised his head to look into her eyes, astonished by the understanding he saw there. _She thinks I was a soldier? Well, it's true, of course, but I was so much more . . . I will never be able to leave my past behind, will I?_ he thought bitterly. He carefully read her ki, looking for signs of fear or distrust, and was reassured when he realized that she truly was as calm as she looked.

Kioko returned his look with compassion, noting how sorrowful his violet eyes were. _His eyes . . . they were gold for a moment . . . I'm sure of it. It was only for a few seconds, but . . . they were not the eyes of the gentle man I know . . . they were dreadful. What has he been through?! _

Feeling that it was time to distract him from his guilt, she looked around for something to say. Her eyes fell on his sword, lying on the futon where he had dropped it, and she noticed that it didn't look right. Looking more closely, Kioko realized that the blade was reversed. Without thinking, she said, "Your sword . . . the blade . . . why is the blade reversed?" No sooner had the words left her mouth, than she instantly regretted saying them. _That's just great! You've just reminded him that he drew his sword on you. That's going to make him feel __**so**__ much better, Kioko, you baka!_ It was too late to pretend she hadn't just said the wrong thing, so Kioko continued, "I've never seen a sword like that before." She knelt there, just looking at him serenely, patiently waiting for him to answer.

Kenshin's head jerked up, guarded eyes appraising her. He stared at her for a long moment, before looking away in shame. Reaching down, Kenshin sheathed the odd sword with a sigh. "This is a sakabatou. Ever since the war ended, sessha has refused to carry a killing sword," he said reluctantly. _Please, no more questions, not now! _

"I see," Kioko replied quietly, although she didn't, actually "Please forgive my rude question, it really is none of my business. Would you like me to fix you some tea or something to eat?"

"No, Kioko-dono. Thank you."

"In that case, I'm going to go back to bed. Good night, Rurouni."

"Good night, Kioko-dono."

Kioko returned to her futon behind the screen, taking her medicine box with her. Before lying down, she applied a soothing herbal salve to her cheek. It would reduce any swelling and lessen the bruising. She lay there for a long time, staring at the ceiling and remembering the rurouni's golden eyes. For that moment, he had seemed like a completely different person. A very frightening person . . . perhaps, a killer. _Well, he __**was**__ a soldier. Soldiers kill during war. The war obviously affected him deeply, and now he carries a non-killing sword. But, if he is against killing, why carry a sword at all? Truly, this man is an enigma, wrapped in a mystery._

Kenshin sat there, gazing into the flames, and listened to her moving around behind the screen. He smelled the green fragrance of the herbal medication she used. Her ki indicated that she was not relaxed, but pensive, instead. He could guess what she was thinking about, although he did not sense any anger, only confusion. Finally, her ki settled down into the quiet rhythm of sleep.

He let his thoughts revolve around the tragic incident. Of course he knew he had nightmares, they came almost every night. During the Bakumatsu, his reflexes were honed so sharply that, if awakened suddenly, he automatically reacted violently. _Tomoe . . . even Tomoe . . . had experienced my violence._ But the war was over years ago. Hadn't the last three years of wandering allowed his reflexes to relax at all? _On the other hand, _the cold voice in his mind noted wryly,_ getting attacked at irregular intervals doesn't exactly help, now, does it?_ But tonight . . . tonight he had assaulted a harmless woman, whose only fault was to be too concerned about his welfare. Kenshin couldn't remember the last time he had felt so ashamed. Sleep was an impossibility, so he just made himself as comfortable as he could and proceeded to wait until morning.

* * *

Kenshin could tell by the changes in her ki that she was close to awakening. Setting the water kettle on the fire, he prepared to make tea. He was not looking forward to spending an awkward day with Kioko. He had no choice, however, since the snowstorm showed no indication of letting up any time soon. _How long can a blizzard last, anyway?_

Kioko wakened late that morning and laid there for a few relaxed moments before she remembered last night's nightmare. She put her hand up to her cheek, feeling the mild ache of the bruise._ I hope it doesn't look too bad, he already feels awful enough as it is. Well, I can't put this off forever, might as well get up and get on with it._ Kioko dressed and brushed her hair quickly, then used a little mirror to examine her cheek. _Not as bad as I was afraid it would be. Good._

When Kioko came around the screen, she was met with a pot of tea and breakfast, ready and waiting. The rurouni was dressed and kneeling before the fire. He flinched when he saw the bruise and looked away quickly. His face settled into a blank mask, his eyes bleak. Before she could say anything, he lowered himself into a deep obeisance, forehead nearly touching the floor.

"Please, pardon sessha, Kioko-dono, for the pain this one caused you last night. It was unforgivable, and I swear that you need have no fear of a repetition of such behavior."

Kioko blinked at his abject apology. _Now what do I do? What should I say? It wasn't his fault!_ Unexpectedly, she chuckled, causing him to look up at her in confusion. _Wonderful, Kioko, now you've insulted him! That's going to make him feel __**much**__ better! Baka!_

"I'm very sorry, Rurouni-san! I'm sorry!" she said, while bowing apologetically. "I am _not_ laughing at you, truly! Of course I forgive you. Although, I'm the one who should be apologizing, for putting you into such a ridiculous posi– . . . ah . . . I mean, situation. I got precisely what I deserved, for waking you that way, especially since I knew you were a soldier. I've already told you, I know better. You can be sure I won't make that mistake again! As for this," Kioko touched her cheek, "it's nothing. It will be gone in a day or two. Now, please, get up and let's have breakfast."

He looked at her, wide-eyed, for a moment, before quickly looking down again. Trying to determine if she was serious, Kenshin studied her ki, noting that it was tranquil, her eyes relaxed. Slowly, he sat up and silently began to serve up breakfast. _**She**__ might forgive me, but __**I**__ cannot! How could I __**do**__ that to her?!_

Upon seeing the rurouni's face once again become expressionless and his eyes darken in pain, Kioko sighed to herself. _This isn't going to be easy. I've got to do something to convince him that I know what happened was only an accident. _Hebo whined, distracting her. Still thinking about what to say, she walked over to the door to let him out.

"My brother, Tatsuo, was a soldier, too, during the Bakumatsu," Kioko said, as she looked out the window into the storm, "he fought and died in Kyoto." She didn't see the rurouni freeze in place.

_No! Oh, please Kami-sama, no!_ Kenshin thought despairingly. _Not another victim!_

"I only got to see him twice after he began fighting," she reminisced, "but I remember how jumpy and nervous he was. I startled him pretty badly a couple of times without meaning to. Mother said my father was the same way after he came home from the war."

_It might not have been me who killed him. Maybe he fought for the Ishin Shishi._ Kenshin cleared his throat before speaking, "Ah, Kioko-dono, which side did your brother fight for?"

Kioko turned away from the window and walked to stand before the fire. "He didn't want to get involved, but the daimyo conscripted almost all of the young men in this region. Tatsuo wound up fighting for the Shogunate." Kioko shook her head at the painful memory.

Closing his eyes, Kenshin bowed his head. "What did your brother do during the war?" he asked, in a near whisper.

"He was a good swordsman, so he acted as a bodyguard to some Bakufu official," Kioko replied, not noticing that the rurouni paled and shuddered convulsively. "Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I do understand a soldier's reflexes. What happened last night was not something you did consciously. You were in the middle of a nightmare and I startled you. I don't want you to worry about me, I'm fine. Now, that's enough about that. Why don't we eat?"

Slowly, Kenshin placed the dishes onto the trays, which he set in front of the fire. However, his appetite had disappeared and he merely played with his rice, before giving it up as a lost cause. Fortunately, Kioko did not notice how quiet he had become.

She surprised him after breakfast by presenting him with the dark green gi and light green hakama she had altered. "Try them on. They were my husband's, but they should fit now." When he hesitated, Kioko gently insisted, "Please, Rurouni."

Kenshin recognized the clothing that she had been working on the day before. _She wants to give these to me, even after last night?_ Hesitating for a few moments longer, Kenshin accepted the clothes with a deep bow. He went behind the screen to put them on, finding that the warm clothes fit well enough. He stepped back into the room, saying, "Thank you very much, Kioko-dono, these are fine clothes, that they are."

"You are welcome. You look good in them, Rurouni. I'm happy to see those old things get used, instead of just sitting in a chest." _Anata, I remember when you wore those . . . it was a festival day early in October . . . even though the sun was shining, the wind was chilly . . ._ It took an effort, but the threatening tears did not fall.

"Kioko-dono, are you all right?" Kenshin quickly went over to her, worried about the grief in her eyes.

"I'm all right, Rurouni, honest. I was just indulging in a memory. I really am happy to see you in those clothes. By tomorrow, I'll have another set ready for you. Which do you prefer, blue or brown?"

"Oro? Blue, I suppose, Kioko-dono. Yes, sessha likes blue, that he does. But I don't want you to go to any further trouble . . ."

"Blue, it is, then." Kioko went over to the chest and pulled out a blue gi and white hakama. She brought them over to the fire and dropped them next to her sewing basket. "Want some tea, Rurouni?" Kioko turned to set out cups and the teapot on a small table. She arranged some chigashi on a plate, placing it next to the teapot.

"Yes, Kioko-dono, thank you."

Kenshin brought two cushions over and placed them in front of the fire, kneeling on one. He accepted the cup she handed to him and took a cautious sip of the hot tea, before lapsing into an introspective silence while staring into the crackling fire. _I killed her brother! I wonder which official was my target? I'm so sorry, Kioko . . ._

_Oh, no, you don't! I'm not going to let you brood all day._ "Do you play Igo, Rurouni?" Kioko almost laughed, because he jumped at the sound of her voice, nearly spilling his tea.

His dark thoughts interrupted, Kenshin turned to look at her. "Yes, Kioko-dono, this one plays the game. It is an interesting exercise in tactics, that it is."

She went to get the board and stones. _'Exercise in tactics,' indeed. Hasn't he ever done anything just for fun?_ Moving the little table aside, Kioko set the board and bowls down between the cushions. "Shall I let you have black?" His gentle smile, as he shook his head, charmed her.

"I will play white, Kioko-dono, and give you a three-stone handicap."

"That confident, are you?" Kioko chuckled as she set three black stones on the board. "I think you will regret your generosity." She then threaded a needle and picked up the blue gi. She smiled at the rurouni's bewildered look and assured him that sewing would not hamper her game.

Kenshin quickly stopped worrying about her sewing, as she soon proved to be an extremely capable opponent. She was just as ruthless as his Shishou, although certainly not as insulting, capturing two strings in short order. Kenshin found his attention totally focused on the game, anticipating her strategies and planning his counter-moves. He found it somewhat disconcerting that she could sit there placidly working on the sleeves of the gi, apparently not focusing on the game at all, and yet place a stone on a strong attack point unhesitatingly after each of his moves. His Master had not taught Kenshin Igo to merely have fun. Oh, no. No training opportunity was ever wasted. After a session of Igo, Kenshin usually felt mentally as battered as he did physically after a long day of training. However, he was grateful for all the lectures on strategic tactics his Shishou had inflicted on him during their games. They had been useful on many occasions.

After removing the dead stones, they prepared to calculate their scores. It had been an exhilarating game. In the end, Kenshin won, but only by one point.

"Thank you, Kioko-dono, for an excellent game. You are a very proficient player."

"That's kind of you, Rurouni. We played most evenings, my husband and I. It's been quite a while since I've played and I am out of practice. No handicap for the next game, and you may play black."

"You are too modest, Kioko-dono. I agree to no handicap, but I will play white."

"And you are stubborn, Rurouni," she laughed.

They decided to take care of the chores before beginning another game. He brought in wood and water, followed around by Hebo. Kioko prepared a light lunch and filled the kettle with water to heat over the fire. The anticipation of another game cheering them both.

This game was played in an intense atmosphere, each move carefully planned, no quarter asked or given. Kenshin could remember battles that had been fought with less ferocity. He noticed that Kioko had finished the gi and was now hemming the hakama. _Incredible! How can she sew at a time like this? Shishou would have his hands full with this mild-mannered woman. And he wouldn't be able to vent his frustration on her with insults either._ That thought almost made him laugh. Almost. Pushing the distracting thought away, Kenshin returned his attention to the board, looking for a weakness in her defense.

At the end of the game, they silently placed the captures onto their vacant points, then began counting the remaining empty intersections. Again, the rurouni won, this time by two points. The rurouni stood up, stretching, while Kioko put the game away.

Kioko shook her head, smiling with pleasure. She hadn't had this much fun in a long time. She was surprised to see that it was dark already. The rurouni was busying himself preparing dinner, chopping vegetables and setting rice aside to steam.

Later, while she washed the few dishes, Kioko listened to the sound of the snowstorm outside. It seemed to be easing off. Perhaps it would blow itself out tonight or tomorrow. She knew the rurouni would leave soon after the storm ended. It would be hard to be alone again. _Well, I won't think about that right now. There will be time to deal with that when it happens. _

**To Be Continued**

* * *

**Author's Notes:** This is the first piece of fiction I have ever written, fan fiction or otherwise, unless you want to count "What I Did During Summer Vacation" school reports. Because of that, I apologize for any inconsistencies you may find in the story. I would like to thank all the people who have taken the time to read this story. Domo arigatou gozaimasu, minasan!

On November 21, 2005, Fan Fiction Dot Net announced that reviewer responses will no longer be allowed. I will reply individually to signed reviews from now on. Anyone who wishes to leave an anonymous review will have to give me an email address, if they want me to respond to their review. I wish to thank all the people who take the time to review my chapters, you have no idea how much I appreciate your letting me know what you think about my stories!

**Japanese Words:**

**anata** - literally "you," means "honey" or "dear" when used by a wife to her husband; my beloved

**baka** - idiot, fool, moron, etc; all-purpose and occasionally affectionate insult

**Bakufu** - military government of the Shogunate, which was overthrown by the Revolution

**Bakumatsu** - the late Tokugawa Shogunate Era, just before the Meiji Restoration; also another name for the civil war, which went from 1862-1868, that pitted the anti emperor Shogunate forces against the pro-emperor Ishin Shishi forces (also known as the Revolution)

**chigashi** - tea sweets, made from a base of mochi (A popular (and extremely yummy) Japanese dessert; it's a special type of rice that's been pounded to the consistency of marshmallow and rolled into balls and/or stuffed with various ingredients.)

**Choshu** - also known as Nagato Province, it is now part of Yamaguchi Prefecture; it was one of the most anti Shogun provinces, fought for the Ishin Shishi

**daimyo** - feudal lord; these people were the next rank above samurai in Japan's feudal era class system and were usually the major landowners

**domo arigatou gozaimasu** - the most formal version of "thank you very much"

**-dono** - an honorific term one step above -san

**engawa** - porch

**futon** - the thin, soft mattresses many Japanese sleep on; they are folded and stored in cabinets when not in use

**gaijin** - foreigner

**gi** - kimono shirt; a fighter's or sword practitioner's shirt

**ginseng** - an herb which boosts the immune system

**hakama** - A divided or undivided skirt, rather like a very wide pair of pants, traditionally worn only by men but now worn also by women, and also worn in certain sports such as aikido or kendo. A hakama typically has pleats, and a koshiita – a stiff or padded part in the lower back of the wearer.

**hanten** - a short coat

**hashi** - chopsticks

**Hebo** - the name of the dog in the story, _The Blizzard_, it means "clumsy"

**Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu** - Flying sword to heaven philosophy. Himura Kenshin's sword technique, used more often for defense than offense. An ancient style that pits one against many, it requires exceptional speed and agility to master.

**Igo** - the Japanese name for the game of Go

**Ishin Shishi** - the name given to the pro-emperor forces from Choshu and Satsuma during the Bakumatsu (another name for the civil war that pitted the anti emperor Shogunate forces against the pro-emperor Ishin Shishi forces)

**itadakimasu** - a little phrase one is supposed to say before one eats a meal, it means roughly "I'm receiving/appreciating this food"

**kami** - god

**Kami-sama** - Lord God

**Kenshin** - The main character of the manga and anime series, _Rurouni Kenshin_, created by Watsuki Nobuhiro. A swordsman of legendary skills and former assassin (hitokiri) of the Ishin Shishi. Kenshin means "heart of the sword."

**ki** - a person's "aura," or swordfighting spirit

**Koshi** - the name of a town in the story, _The Blizzard_, it means "riverside"

**minasan** - everyone

**miso** - fermented bean paste; it's usually made into soup (misoshiru)

**Miyuki Kioko** - a main character in the story, _The Blizzard_, her name means: Miyuki – "deep snow;" and Kioko – "happy child"

**oro** - Nobuhiro Watsuki-sensei's made up word, in the Rurouni Kenshin anime series, Himura Kenshin's version of "huh?"

**reishi **- a medicinal mushroom that enhances the immune system

**Revolution** - another name for the civil war, also known as the Bakumatsu, which went from 1862-1868, that pitted the anti emperor Shogunate forces against the pro-emperor Ishin Shishi forces (also known as the Bakumatsu)

**ronin **- a masterless samurai

**rurouni** - Nobuhiro Watsuki-sensei's made up word, in the Rurouni Kenshin anime series, it means "wanderer"

**sakabatou** - Nobuhiro Watsuki-sensei's made up word, in the Rurouni Kenshin anime series, it means "reverse blade sword"

**-san** - an honorific

**Satsuma** - a southern province, now the western half of Kagoshima Prefecture; it was very anti Shogunate, but it had a long history of bitter rivalries with Choshu province

**sessha** - an archaic Japanese term, literally "this unworthy one," how Himura Kenshin in the Rurouni Kenshin anime series refers to himself in first person

**Shishou** - master teacher of swordsmanship; Himura Kenshin's master, Hiko Seijuro, the Thirteenth Master of Hiten Mitsurugi

**Shogunate** - the military rulers of Japan, they ruled from 1192-1867

**Tomoe** - Yukishiro Tomoe was Kenshin's wife, he accidentally killed her in a fight to the death with a Shogunate samurai

**yukata** - An informal unlined summer kimono usually made of cotton, linen, or hemp. Yukata are most often worn to outdoor festivals, by men and women of all ages. They are also worn at onsen (hot springs) resorts, where they are often provided for the guests in the resort's own pattern. Yukata are also worn under a kimono or gi, and for sleeping.


	2. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer:** This fan fiction is based on the Rurouni Kenshin manga and anime series. Rurouni Kenshin characters are the property of creator Watsuke Nobuhiro, Shueisha, Shonen Jump, Sony Entertainment, and VIZ Comics. This is a non-profit work for entertainment purposes only. Permission was not obtained from the above parties.

_**The Blizzard**_

Written by Terry L. McElrath

**Chapter Two**

After finishing the dishes, Kioko made tea before joining the rurouni by the fire. She poured tea for both of them, the rurouni taking his absently, only to set the cup down without drinking. After sitting in silence for a while, Kioko began surreptitiously watching him. His face was empty again, eyes shadowed, looking into an indeterminate distance. _It was a good idea to play Igo today. It definitely took his mind off his troubles. But they seem to have come back with a vengeance. He doesn't look like he plans on sleeping tonight. As if worrying himself into exhaustion is going to help! _She took a sip of tea, while considering what to say that might ease his conscience.

"You were right, Kioko-dono, I was a soldier during the Bakumatsu."

His soft voice was so unexpected, Kioko nearly jumped in fright. She turned to fully look at him. The rurouni's head was lowered, his fiery bangs hiding his eyes. _He wants to talk about his past? That's a surprise._ Kioko settled herself, prepared to listen for as long as necessary.

"I was a soldier," he repeated slowly, "but I was not always a soldier. Before that, I was a bodyguard. And before that. . . I was. . ." Kenshin's voice trailed off. _How can I tell her?_

Kioko waited patiently for him to continue. Obviously, this was difficult for the rurouni to talk about. She had the feeling that he had not shared his experiences with anyone for a long time, if at all.

_Start from the beginning._ Kenshin began speaking again, his voice carefully neutral. "I left my Shishou, against his wishes, to participate in the Revolution."

Kioko blinked, confused by the apparent change of subject. _Nani? Shishou?_

"He knew I was not ready to face the realities of war. I was already a skilled swordsman, although not fully trained, but I lacked the maturity to understand the consequences of my actions. All I knew was that I could not stand aside and watch innocent people suffer under the cruelty of the Bakufu. I had to do something!" Again, he stopped, not saying anything for a long time.

Kioko watched as he sat there, silent, his posture stiff, tense. _Why is he telling me this? It is clearly very painful for him._

"I left the security of my Shishou's mountain and joined the Choushu han of the Ishin Shishi. I was told my sword would make a difference. I could help bring about a new era of peace and equality. I wanted to do that so much! But what did I know? I was fourteen, what could I know about such things? My Shishou was right, I was a fool." His voice was low, filled with bitterness. _I was so certain that I could right the wrongs done in the name of the Bakufu. Was I acting upon my principles, or did my pride guide my actions? It doesn't matter, though. Either way, the end result remains the same. _

_He was only fourteen?!_ Kioko was dumbfounded. _What could the Ishin Shishi have been thinking? Were they so desperate, they needed a boy to fight their war?_

"I swore my blade to the cause of the Ishin Shishi. I agreed to do whatever was necessary to bring about the new age. . . to protect the weak and innocent. . . to make a difference. Katsura-san asked me if I could kill, for my ideals, and I said . . . yes." Now he was staring into the fire, the flames reflected in his pain-filled eyes.

_Katsura-san? Katsura Kogorou? Leader of the Choushu clan?_ She suddenly became angry at Katsura for asking the youth to fight, to kill. _How dare Katsura use a boy as a tool to achieve his own purposes, no matter how noble they might be!_

"I was prepared to soil my blade. . . to sacrifice my childish innocence so that others could live quiet lives. I believed that because I had the skills, it was my responsibility to bring about justice. I thought I knew what I was doing. Hn!" he snorted derisively. _Fool!_

_He had such high ideals!_ Kioko thought._ His heart was certainly in the right place. He was so very young, though, scarcely out of childhood. He wasn't ready to make such decisions._

"There are many ways to fight a war," Kenshin remarked, seemingly irrelevantly, with no inflection in his voice. "You can destroy valuable property, materials and supplies. You can conquer important areas of the country, thus controlling the enemy's movements and supplies. You can reduce the enemy's numbers in large-scale battles. You can also eliminate key personnel, thereby weakening an enemy's effectiveness." He stopped talking again, shifting uncomfortably. _Eliminate key personnel. . . is that how you describe it?_ the cold voice in his mind said mockingly. _Don't you mean murder?_

_What is he talking about? He sounds like he's reading from a treatise on warfare, rather than what he did during the Revolution._ Kioko waited for the rurouni to continue, but the silence dragged on. When it became almost painful, she finally spoke up. "You don't need to tell me anything, Rurouni. Whatever happened in the past, is just that – in the past. You don't have to explain yourself to me."

"Sessha disagrees, Kioko-dono," he replied softly. "You rescued me, gave me medicine, food and clothing. . ."

Kioko interrupted, "Anyone would have done that, Rurouni!"

Kenshin continued quietly, as if he hadn't heard her. "This one cannot tell you how ashamed he is to have returned your kindness with such violence."

Kioko lifted her hand, shaking her head in vehement denial, "Rurouni. . ."

"You deserve to hear the truth, Kioko-dono. Sessha owes you that much, after what this one did to you last night," he insisted, self-condemnation thick in his voice. _Yes, the truth!_ the voice demanded. _Will you tell her the __**complete**__ truth?_

All color draining from his face, he faltered, then went on, "When I joined the Ishin Shishi I became an. . . assassin. And not just another assassin. . . I was the Shadow Hitokiri. I was known as the Hitokiri Battousai." Kenshin's voice had dropped to a toneless whisper._ Blood. . . dripping from my sword. . . running down the street. . . _He knelt there, staring at his hands – twisting together in distress – without seeing them, his body shaking from inner turmoil.

Kioko could hardly believe what she had heard. _HE was the Battousai?! The most infamous assassin of the Bakumatsu?!_ Even though she and her husband lived in the mountains, well away from the bloody battles of the Revolution, they had heard of the notorious Manslayer, who was known for his bloodlust. Wandering soldiers and merchants had spread the tales of the bloodthirsty killer. Kioko sat there, feeling numb. It was one thing to know that the rurouni was a soldier, but to find out that he had been the feared Hitokiri, responsible for the deaths of countless numbers! And now this murderer was sitting across from her! Fear clawed its way up her spine to her throat, choking her. Before she could say anything, however, he went on.

"My hands are. . . I am. . . drenched. . . in the blood of hundreds of victims," he paused, his voice breaking. "I have killed so many. . ." He took a deep, shuddering breath, face twisting, his self-hatred all too apparent. "I could not leave any witnesses. That was the policy. I couldn't just kill the intended targets. I had to eliminate bodyguards and companions, as well, if they saw me." _You did your job, _the voice of the Battousai was indifferent,_ if you hadn't taken care of the witnesses, they would have hunted you down and killed __**you**__._ "That was hard. . . so hard. They didn't stand a chance against me. They didn't deserve death that way, no one does." As he talked, he seemed to collapse from within, head bowed, shoulders sagging beneath the weight of endless guilt and remorse. _Was your brother one of those innocents I butchered?_ The thought grieved him deeply. _After everything you've done for me, was I the one who brought you such sorrow?_

'_They didn't stand a chance against me.' He sounds so matter-of-fact about that. He was only fourteen at the time and he was that deadly?_ Kioko had never been so confused. She could not reconcile her experiences with this gentle rurouni, against the knowledge that he had been an implacable manslayer. _Is he lying? No. His pain and guilt are real. I've never met anyone as tortured as he is._

Kenshin cleared his throat, continuing in a subdued, almost conversational, tone, "You know, I thought I could do whatever it took to bring on the new era, but a part of me died every time I killed. Each time I did an assignment, I became a little less human." _Hn! You became me, you mean,_ Battousai snapped. "But I had sworn to fight for the rebellion and I could not honorably withdraw my sword."

_Honor!_ Kioko almost spat the word out loud, the intensity of her feelings surprising her. _Where was Katsura's __**honor**__ when he asked a boy to become a killer?! The youth had accepted self-destruction because of __**honor**__. _She had seen far too much pain and suffering caused by honor, to be impressed with the concept.

"At first, I didn't understand the full enormity of what I was doing. I thought I was just eliminating an enemy. It took an exceptional woman to show me that I was doing much more than just killing an opponent " Kenshin stopped, closing his eyes before continuing, his voice rough with emotion. "I was also hurting all of the people in each of my victims' lives and, at the same time, I was killing myself." _Himura Kenshin was weak, he deserved to die,_ Battousai stated brutally. "She believed in me, and showed me that it was possible for me to find inner peace. I swore to her that, when the war was over, I would never kill again." For the first time since he had started talking, he looked directly at Kioko, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

_Was that Tomoe? _Kioko wondered._ Is she the woman he's referring to? The one he had the nightmare about? He wanted to die, didn't he? She convinced him to live, gave him a reason to survive. She must have been a remarkable woman._

"After that, I couldn't be an assassin any longer." _Coward!_ Battousai snarled. "I became a bodyguard and mobile attacker, instead. It felt better to protect people, but I still had to kill regularly. When the war openly broke out and the battles started, I became a soldier. I fought and killed in the open, instead of in the shadows." _Yes, making yourself a target for anyone with a grudge,_ was Battousai's scathing response. _Don't try to tell __**me**__ you didn't have a death wish!_ "At least I no longer had to worry about killing innocent people, just because they happened to be with the wrong person."

_He has seen so much death,_ she thought sympathetically, then mentally shook her head. _What am I saying?! He has __**caused**__ so much death and misery. I should fear him, even hate him, but. . . I don't. Why? I don't understand. . . _

"I was given permission to leave after the battle of Toba Fushimi. I left my katana at the battlefield and walked away. I have vowed to never kill again and to dedicate my life to repenting for all the deaths and pain I have caused. I carry a sakabatou because using a sword is the only way I know to protect people. There are those who do not desire a new era, who do not want to lose the power they once had. Many former soldiers and ronin have turned to banditry because they cannot see any other way to survive in these days. It has not yet become easier for the common people to live in these troubled times. I do what I can to defend those I meet during my travels, without killing." _How long do you think you can keep up this charade?_ the icy voice of the Battousai demanded. _Are you willing to die, rather than kill?_

_He protects people without killing? The notorious Battousai wants to repent for his actions? Is that why he became a rurouni?_ Kioko felt dizzy from all of the emotions she had experienced during his revelations. She had so many questions, but didn't feel she had the right to ask. _Wait. . . he said something about when he joined the Ishin Shishi. . . something about how he couldn't stand by and watch people suffer. . . he had to do something. . . He __**still**__ feels that way! He hasn't really changed that much since then, he's still trying to protect people._ Kioko took a deep, calming breath to help bring order to her chaotic thoughts. "Rurouni, thank you for telling me about yourself, I know it isn't easy."

Kenshin nodded sadly, and then went on. "As you know, Kioko-dono, I have nightmares about the war most nights. I still remember the faces of all of my victims. I doubt that I will ever forget them. I accept that as simple justice for my actions. It is the least I deserve for the suffering I have caused."

The sorrow in Kenshin's voice made Kioko feel like weeping in sympathy. _He was so young! He was willing to sacrifice himself for the good of the people. He did not realize how it would affect him for the rest of his life. To the Ishin Shishi, he was probably considered a hero of the Revolution. But he sees himself as just a monster who destroyed lives, who scarcely deserves to live. _

Kenshin looked back down at his hands, now clenched tightly together, the knuckles white. "I did not tell you about my past in order to excuse my unforgivable behavior last night." _Why __**did**__ you tell her? _Battousai wanted to know._ Do you really think she understands? Or have you just given her more reasons to fear you?_

"Rurouni," Kioko interrupted, allowing a touch of severity to show in her voice, "we've been through that already. You did **not** attack me last night! I triggered your response by thoughtlessly waking you from a nightmare."

His guilt-filled eyes locked with hers, "Kioko-dono, I told you about myself because I. . . I. . ." he stopped, the lump in his throat making it almost impossible to talk. He shook his head, swallowing heavily before continuing, his voice raspy. "I think I was responsible for your brother's death. I think I killed him during one of my assignments." He felt her ki spike and had to look away from the sudden anguish in her eyes.

"No. . ." she whispered brokenly.

Kenshin knelt there, lost in the deepest despair he had felt since the war. It had been hard enough living with the knowledge that he had destroyed the lives of all the families of his many victims, but this! To know that he had caused such pain to the kind woman who had saved his life! What could he do to repent for such a tragedy?

Kioko sat there, thinking of her beloved brother, remembering him as he was the last time she saw him. He had been laughing at some joke their father had told him. Unbidden, the image shifted. Now she saw the flash of a sword and he was lying in a pool of his own blood, his laughter forever stilled. _Did the Battousai kill Tatsuo?_ He had fought so bravely through the war, only to die at the end. It just wasn't fair! Something stirred in the back of her mind. _The end of the war. . . when did Tatsuo die? But the rurouni said. . ._

"Rurouni, tell me. When did you leave the Revolution?" Kioko asked, watching him intently.

Kenshin looked at her uncertainly. "I left right after the battle of Toba Fushimi. Why?"

"That's what I thought you said. Tatsuo died over a month after Toba Fushimi. That means you didn't kill him!"

_I didn't kill him!_ The tremendous sense of relief Kenshin felt was short lived, though. "I am very glad I didn't kill your brother, that I am. But it doesn't really change anything. I am still hurting people, whether or not I want to. I injured you last night, because I could not control my reflexes. People suffer, just because I exist! I am hunted**:** by those out for revenge, and men who want the reputation of having killed the Battousai. These people have proven that they will not hesitate to endanger those around me, if it will suit their purposes."_ That would not be a problem, _Battousai growled,_ if you would let me take care of them!_ "This is why I never stay in one place for too long. To do so will only put others in danger. Just as I am jeopardizing you now."

"Even if this is true, what is your point? You say, 'People suffer, just because I exist.' You feel responsible for the pain caused by those who wish you harm. But it's not **your** responsibility! It lies directly upon the heads of the men who want you dead. They do not have to hurt others to attack you. If they do, then judgement is solely upon them, not you! Do you understand?" She had a thought and tilted her head, questioningly. "What do you want to do? Die, in an attempt to stop others from being hurt? Is that what Tomoe would want you to do?" The last comment was a stab in the dark, but Kioko felt it was the right thing to say.

The rurouni winced and shook his head, then looked at her suddenly. "How do you know about Tomoe?" he asked sharply, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. "And what makes you think she doesn't want me to die?"

"You called for her while you were unconscious," she answered steadily. "She is the woman you spoke about earlier, isn't she? The one who helped you understand that you were hurting more people than just your enemies. If she didn't want you to hurt other people, then I'm sure she wouldn't want you to kill yourself." Kioko met his glare effortlessly, undismayed by the sting of his voice.

"Yes," Kenshin agreed, after taking a deep breath, "you are right. Tomoe would not allow me to throw my life away, that she would not."

"Besides, your death would not stop the misery. Alive, you've got a chance to alleviate some of the pain and sorrow being experienced by others. You've got to quit being so hard on yourself! What happened in the past cannot be changed. All you can do now is deal with the consequences, which is exactly what you've been doing all along, ne?"

He nodded in agreement, though not looking happy about it. "Sessha has tried to stay out of trouble, but not always successfully. It seems the best thing to do is to keep moving, to make it harder for those searching for this one." _You run away, instead of dealing with the bastards_, Battousai said, disgusted.

Kioko considered this, before suggesting, "Maybe, but wouldn't you be safer if you went to the government? It seems to me that they would be willing to give you a job, since you were so instrumental in bringing about the Meiji era."

"Do you think I want a reward for being a manslayer?" he said coldly, eyes flashing. "I neither want, nor deserve, recognition for my actions during the Bakumatsu. I am not proud of what I did during the Revolution. I have left the life of a hitokiri behind me and now want nothing more than to live a quiet life, protecting those around me to the best of my ability."

Kioko bowed her head, surprised by the fierceness of his reaction. "Forgive me, Rurouni-san, I did not mean to anger you."

He sighed. "Kenshin. My name is Himura Kenshin. It is all right, Kioko-dono, I am not angry with you."

"Arigatou, Kenshin." Kioko looked into his eyes, speaking earnestly, "You were an important part of the reason the Imperialists won the Revolution, weren't you? You are a patriot of the Ishin Shishi. I am certain you have earned the respect of the leaders of the Meiji government."

"Perhaps," Kenshin replied quietly. "But you do not understand what it was like during the war. I was feared as much by the Ishin Shishi as by the Shogunate forces. The lifespan of a hitokiri was measured in months. If they were not killed during an assignment or by another assassin, as most were, they were frequently eliminated by their own people. Sometimes because they went mad, but often because they knew too much and were considered too dangerous. I think that Katsura-san protected me from the Ishin Shishi because he knew I believed in his ideals. If I were to reappear, I am certain that there are many who would not be happy, because of what I represent."

"You are right, Kenshin, I don't understand. Are you saying that your life is in jeopardy from the very government you helped to establish?" Kioko was upset by the injustice of the situation. _Could the government really consider him such a danger?_

"It is possible, Kioko-dono, that it is. However, even if it is not the case, this one does not wish for the government to acknowledge his part in the Revolution. Sessha wants the Hitokiri Battousai to fade into the background, to simply disappear." _You cannot get rid of me_, Battousai challenged. _I am the strongest part of you!_

"So you have become an anonymous rurouni, traveling throughout Japan? You have done this deliberately, in order to avoid those who are searching for you?"

"Hai, Kioko-dono. That, plus sessha thinks he can do more to help others if he is a true free sword and not bound to one place or group." _Shishou, that is what you tried to tell me the day I left. I'm sorry I didn't understand then. I truly was a baka deshi._

Kioko thought about what Kenshin had said. _Given how badly he feels about what he did during the Revolution, I doubt that he is going to accept anything I might say in his defense, but I've got to try._ "Kenshin, you are not proud of what you did during the war, but try to remember this: You did what you felt you had to do back then to protect others. You acted upon your convictions. No one can fault you for that. I certainly don't."

Kenshin frowned, shaking his head. "No. It is not that simple, Kioko-dono. Too many people have been hurt because of my. . . convictions, as you put it."

"It is true that many people suffered because of the Revolution, some of them because of your actions. However, how many more people will be able to live peaceful lives now that the new era is upon us? An era you helped to create. What about the children who will grow up never knowing the cruelty of the Shogunate?" She watched him closely, waiting to see his reaction. He was watching her quietly and, although pale, he seemed to be less tense.

Kenshin finally looked away, wanting desperately to believe her, but not quite daring to.

She mentally sighed when she saw that his shadowed eyes did not lighten, remaining pain-filled. _I was right, he is not ready to believe that he is a worthwhile person, even though he did what he did for a greater good._ "All you wanted to do was save people from misery and unhappiness. You are still doing that, although in a different way. Can't you see that you haven't really changed that much?"

He nodded tiredly, but would not meet her eyes. _If only that were true. . ._ Kenshin picked up the forgotten cup of now cold tea and took a sip, focusing on the dying flames of the fire.

Kioko realized that Kenshin wanted to end the painful conversation, so she also took a drink of cold tea as a way to bridge the silence. Her thoughts scattered and whirled like leaves in a gusting wind. _Well, I never expected I would ever be face to face with a living legend! Although there are those who would say 'demon,' instead. _Even after everything he had told her, she found it difficult to believe that the quiet, sorrowful man sitting next to her was the fearsome Battousai. _Who would have thought that he would be haunted by guilt and the ghosts of his victims? The tales all said that he exulted in the terror he created and delighted in the sight of blood running everywhere. Right! And he was supposed to be seven feet tall, with fangs, too._ The reality that this small, almost delicate, man was the 'Demon of the Bakumatsu' was almost shocking.

Feeling that Kenshin might want some privacy, Kioko finished her tea and decided to go to bed. "Kenshin?"

"Hai, Kioko-dono?"

"Unless there is something you would like me to do for you, I think I will go to bed now."

"Sessha does not need anything, arigatou. This one will let Hebo out and take care of the fire. Oyasumi nasai," Kenshin replied softly.

"Arigatou, Kenshin." Kioko stood up and started to walk past the rurouni, then stopped to kneel before him.

Kenshin looked at her in surprise. "Kioko-dono?"

Leaning forward, she put her arms around his shoulders, giving him a comforting hug. "Thank you, again, for sharing your past with me, Kenshin," she said softly, feeling him relax a little. Before he could become uncomfortable, she released him and stood up. "You **are** planning on sleeping tonight, ne?"

Deeply touched, Kenshin answered, "I will be fine, Kioko-dono, that I will. Onegai, don't worry about sessha."

Kioko hesitated. "Well. . . all right. Oyasumi, Kenshin, sleep well. I'll see you in the morning."

After letting Hebo back in, Kenshin walked over to the fire and placed several pieces of wood on the coals, prodding them thoughtfully until flames started to rise. Returning to his cushion, he poured himself another cup of cold tea. He sat there and wearily contemplated what had occurred this evening. _What in the world possessed me to reveal myself to her like that? Not that she didn't take it well. In fact, considering she just found out she's got an assassin sleeping in her house, she took it very well, indeed. But, why? I didn't need to tell her. She believed that it was just a soldier's nightmare. I haven't told anyone. So, why now? Why to her?_ Unsettled, Kenshin took another drink of tea.

Well, he **had** been honest earlier. Kenshin knew why he had felt compelled to tell her about his past. Guilt. Pure and simple. _I told her the truth. Thank Kami-sama that I didn't kill her brother, but once again I have hurt an innocent. And not an anonymous bystander this time, but someone to whom I owe my life! It doesn't matter that the injury was minor. I threatened her with my sword!_ That she was willing to take responsibility for what happened still amazed him. _Now that she knows you are the Battousai, _the inner voice sneered,_ she probably thinks she was lucky you didn't kill her. _Kenshin ignored the taunt. The Battousai's comments tonight had been more vicious than usual. He had come to accept the part of him that was the Battousai. At times he felt like two people trapped in one body. Sometimes he was afraid that he had gone mad during the war, as had so many other assassins. He had heard somewhere, though, that if a person worried they were mad, it meant they weren't. For some reason, he didn't find it reassuring. Perhaps it was another form of justice.

Finishing the tea, Kenshin considered what to do next. He did not want to risk having another nightmare, so dismissed the idea of sleeping on the futon. Standing up, he put the cushions away and went over to the corner next to the fire. He sat down and leaned back against the wall, bending his left leg to slide it under his raised right knee. Kenshin left his sakabatou where it was, although it felt odd not having it leaning against his left shoulder as usual. He knew from experience that, in this position, he would not sleep as deeply and would be less likely to dream of the horrors of the Revolution. Having slept this way for years, he relaxed and let his mind drift.

Memories of the war were never far from his awareness. He could still hear the sound of swords clashing and the screams of the injured and dying, smell the metallic odor of blood, see the light of life fading from innocent eyes. Tonight had been especially bad. The whole time he had been talking, in addition to the usual memories, he had yet again felt the despair he had experienced back then, when he had realized that he was nothing more than a murderer. It had been almost more than he could bear this evening. He had not been able to bring himself to look at Kioko more than a few times, for fear of the horror he would see in her eyes.

Kenshin did not really expect to get much rest, but short sleep the night before and the stress he had undergone this evening had left him more exhausted than he thought. _And I thought today was going to be awkward! Tomorrow will be much worse. . ._ was his last conscious thought before sleep claimed him.

Kioko slept brokenly, waking often with a start. Finally, becoming aware that it was getting colder, she decided to get up to check the fire. When she came around the screen into the main part of the room, she stopped in her tracks, stunned. There was no futon in front of the fire! _Where is he? He couldn't have. . . _she looked around frantically. Just then one of the logs on the hearth popped and she quickly looked that way. An errant flame created a flash of red-gold in the dark corner beyond the fire. _Kenshin! What is he doing there?_ He was sitting up, with his head bent forward, and seemed to be asleep. She quietly moved further into the room, not wanting to disturb him if he really was sleeping. _Why didn't he use the futon? I'll bet he didn't intend to fall asleep. Why, he doesn't even have a blanket!_ She considered laying a comforter over him, but immediately thought better of it. _Sure, Kioko, wake him up unexpectedly two nights in a row, why don't you? Baka! _Instead, she carefully built up the fire, making as little noise as possible. _At least he's wearing warm clothes. He should be all right._

When she had finished, she stood up and started to go back to bed. Suddenly she noticed how quiet it was. The wind had finally died down. Silently, she walked to the window. The blizzard had stopped. The moon shone through the broken cloud cover, causing the snow to shine like silver. _No wonder it's getting colder. It will probably freeze hard before morning._

Kenshin woke up the next morning to the brightness of a clear dawn. He stood up, adjusted his clothing, and went to the door, quietly sliding it open. Hebo immediately joined him, leading the way outside. Kenshin quickly shut the door to keep the warmth from escaping. He stood on the engawa and admired the beauty of the scene. The early morning sunlight sparkled off of the snow drifted around the house and covering the tree branches. It was bitterly cold, but seeing the sun for the first time in four days cheered Kenshin immensely. _Yes! I can leave today!_ He was very much looking forward to leaving these frozen mountains. _I should be able to reach the coast in a week and a half. Kioko said the town was. . . what? Ten miles?_ His excitement dimmed when he realized that Kioko would be lonely again. He knew she would be able to take care of herself. That wasn't the problem. No, she would be alone, with nothing but her memories and a dog. He was all too well aware of the core of sadness she concealed behind her serene exterior. It was easy to recognize since it mirrored, to a lesser degree, his own pain from losing Tomoe. He began considering how he would tell Kioko that he planned on leaving today.

Kenshin's thoughts were interrupted when Hebo began barking at a raven that dared to taunt him from the top of the woodpile. "Hebo! Quiet!" Kenshin called. "You'll wake up Kioko-dono, that you will." He watched, amused, as the dog tried to run to the house, slipping and sliding on the icy snow. _Hmmm. . . if the snow is frozen hard enough to walk on, it will be much easier to walk to town._ Moving carefully, Kenshin stepped out onto the snow-covered path. He found the frozen crust held his weight easily. _A staff will make it a lot safer. . ._ Feeling pleased with the way everything was working out, he went back to the house, barely avoiding being bowled over by Hebo as he rushed up the stairs.

Once inside the house, Kenshin began thinking about preparing breakfast. A piercing shriek startled him into grabbing his sakabatou.

"HEBO! Get off of me, you stupid dog! You're freezing! Get OFF!" Kioko's angry cries resounded throughout the house.

Kenshin sighed, shaking his head and replacing the sakabatou. "Gomen nasai, Kioko-dono! It is sessha's fault, that it is. This one let Hebo outside. Sessha should have thought. . ."

"It's all right, Kenshin. It's about time I got up anyway." Kioko regretfully left her warm futon, glaring at Hebo, who just wagged his tail happily.

The water kettle was steaming and the rurouni was busily working over a pot, when she came into the room. "Ohayou, Kenshin!" she declared cheerfully.

"Ohayou gozaimasu, Kioko-dono. The sun is shining, that it is," Kenshin responded, without taking his attention off of his cooking, trying to postpone the inevitable confrontation.

Kioko walked over to look out the window, blinking in the bright sunlight. "So I see. Well, I guess you will want to get an early start, ne?" she asked, hoping that he would disagree.

That got his attention. "Oro?" He turned to face her, looking surprised and a little guilty.

"I thought so," Kioko said, nodding. "You know, Kenshin, you are more than welcome to stay here for the winter."

"Nani?" Kenshin was stunned by Kioko's offer. "But. . ." _I'm welcome to stay? Even after. . ._ "I. . . I am honored by your generous offer, Kioko-dono, that I am. But. . ."

"But you want to continue your journey, don't you?" she finished for him.

"Well. . . uh. . . the weather is. . . uncertain at this time of year. It would probably be. . . best. . . for me to take advantage of the clear skies. . . um. . . while they last," Kenshin stammered, not wanting her to think that he was leaving because of her.

Kioko walked over to stand before the rurouni. "I understand. All right, we'll get started after breakfast. It won't take long to get you outfitted and ready to go," she said briskly, feigning a nonchalance she did not feel.

Kenshin blinked, unprepared for her ready acceptance of his explanation. _'Outfitted?' What does she mean by 'outfitted?'_ To give himself time to think, he announced, "Breakfast will be ready in just a few minutes, that it will," and began pouring the tea.

"You shouldn't have any trouble reaching Koshi by early afternoon," Kioko stated, as she accepted the cup of tea Kenshin gave her. "I wouldn't recommend that you try to go any further today, though. It's at least 25 miles between Koshi and Matsutani and the road is difficult." She paused to take a sip of tea. "Once you get to Koshi, I suggest you go to the Matsukasa Inn. It's on the main road, just south of town. My cousin, Yamamori Toshiro, owns the Inn. I will give you a letter for him and he will let you stay for free for as long as you like."

"Kioko-dono, it is not necessary for you to do that! Sessha does not wish to impose on your family, that he most certainly does not," Kenshin protested.

She laughed and looked at the scandalized rurouni with a twinkle in her eyes. "Oh, don't worry! Toshiro owes me a lot more than just a few days of room and board. Believe me, he won't mind at all."

Not looking even slightly convinced, Kenshin began dishing up breakfast. Throughout the meal, Kioko continued giving suggestions about the upcoming trip. Kenshin listened closely, grateful for the advice that would make his journey out of the mountains much easier.

Just as they were finishing eating, Kioko ended with "After you leave Matsutani, you will find woodcutter's huts about. . . oh, every fifteen miles or so, alongside the road. You can't miss them, they're marked with tall posts next to the path. Feel free to stay there, just clean up after yourself and replace any wood you use."

Kioko got up and began gathering up the dishes, setting them aside to wash later. Then she walked over to the chest, opened it, and began rummaging around inside. _I know they're here somewhere. . . Ah! Here they are!_ She set several pairs of double-thickness winter tabi on the floor next to the chest. Reaching back inside, she pulled out a quilted hanten and laid it down next to the tabi. Next she found a warm scarf and added it to the pile of clothing. Finally, she took out a thick blanket. Closing the chest, she gathered up the clothes and brought them over to where the gi and hakama she had worked on yesterday lay.

Kenshin watched her in growing confusion. _What is she doing? Surely she doesn't expect me to. . ._

"Kenshin? Would you come with me, onegai? I could use your help," she requested, leading the way to the storeroom.

"Of course, Kioko-dono." Curious, Kenshin followed her into the room.

Once inside, Kioko handed a basket to Kenshin, which he took with a questioning look. After studying the contents of the shelves, she began taking items down and placing them in the basket. "Let's see. . . there's plenty of dried fish. . . some dried plums. . . soba. . . konbu. . . rice. . ."

Kenshin began to fidget as the pile of food in the basket grew. Finally, to his relief, she stopped, adding a cloth bag to the items in the basket before returning to the main room. "Kioko-dono? What are you doing?" Kenshin asked uncomfortably.

"What does it look like I'm doing? Set that down here and bring your travel bag over, onegai. I think you'll want to transfer your cooking equipment to this other bag, to make room for the clothes."

"But, Kioko-dono, sessha can't. . ." Kenshin began, only to be summarily cut off.

"Yes, sessha can and sessha will," she stated quietly, though her voice was steely with resolve. "I've got more than enough supplies to last the entire winter. Trust me, I'll never miss these few things. Are you just going to stand there, or do I have to pack for you, as well?"

"But. . ." Kenshin tried to protest again, but a disapproving glare was all it took to make him accept the inevitable._ Imagine, the deadliest assassin of the Bakumatsu defeated by a scowl from a mere slip of a girl,_ Battousai laughed.

Obediently, Kenshin started unloading his travel bag, setting aside his meager food supplies and equipment. _This must be what she meant by getting 'outfitted.' I can't believe she wants to do this for me!_ He then began carefully putting all the food she had given him into the new bag, heaviest items on the bottom. Lighter things went in next, with his cooking utensils last. _With this much food, I should have no trouble making it to the coast with the little money I have left. Fortunately, I won't have to spend as much on inns as I was afraid I would, it's not always easy to find jobs in the dead of winter. Those woodcutter's huts will certainly come in handy. It was so kind of her to tell me about them._ Once again he was assailed with feelings of guilt for leaving her alone. _Should I stay longer? No! It is just too dangerous for her. There's no telling when the next psychotic killer will show up. But who would know? It's not as if there are a lot of people around who know I'm here._ The internal argument went on, pitting his desire to leave as soon as possible against his guilt at leaving her alone. _I can't stay here forever. Once winter is over, my presence will become known and the risk of being discovered will increase dramatically. Not to mention what it would do to her reputation, once people know that she has had a man living with her all winter. No, the longer I stay, the more hazardous it will be for her, and the more difficult it will be to say goodbye. The sooner I leave, the better._ Mentally sighing, he gave in to the inescapable conclusion.

Meanwhile, Kioko had been folding and stacking the clothes that she was giving to Kenshin. Handling her husband's clothing caused her some pain, but not as much as she had thought it would. It was as if the act of sharing them with another was healing a deep wound that had been ignored for too long. She realized now that these clothes were not the only, or even the most important, link she had with her koishii. Caring for the rurouni had allowed her to step outside of her memories. Watching him smile while playing Igo encouraged her to remember the good times without dwelling on the pain of the past two years. She shook her head, so much had happened in only three days._ Maybe it's time I moved on, koishii. Perhaps I should consider moving to Koshi in the spring, like everyone wants. It's something to think about anyway._ She picked up the blanket and rolled it up, tying the ends with leather strings. Finding that Kenshin had the food packed away, she handed the blanket and clothes to him.

Kenshin started to object, but one look at her eyes made him change his mind. "Arigatou, Kioko-dono, sessha appreciates your gift very much, that he does." Kenshin picked up the quilted hanten and held it up to himself. _It's a little big, but it will certainly be much warmer than my old coat._ With that, he folded his worn hanten and put it in the bottom of the bag. He put the clothes she had given to him into his travel bag, noticing that the light blue yukata he had worn was included. Examining the thick tabi, he set a pair aside to wear, packing the rest. When he was done, he had two very full bags. After considering what would be the best way to carry them, he decided to tie the straps together and hang them over his shoulder, one bag in front, one in the back.

While Kenshin was packing, Kioko wrote a brief letter of introduction to her cousin, explaining that Kenshin was a friend who was traveling through the mountains. She asked him to extend the courtesy of his hospitality for as long as needed. She finished by thanking him for helping Kenshin and telling him that she was looking forward to seeing him in the spring. Folding the letter, she put it into a protective envelope.

She walked over to where Kenshin was standing. He had put on the hanten and was adjusting his sword, so that it was unobstructed by the coat. Smiling around the tightening of her throat, she handed him the letter, which he put inside his gi. "Well, I guess it's about that time, Kenshin, isn't it?"

"Yes, Kioko-dono, this one should be leaving. Sessha cannot tell you how much he appreciates everything you have done for him. Sessha owes you his life, that he does. But more than that, this one values the friendship you have given him. Believe me, I know the value of such things as friendship. Sessha hopes that you will find happiness among your friends and family."

"I hope for the same things for you, Kenshin, you deserve them. Do you think you will ever settle down in one place?"

"Sessha does not know, Kioko-dono," he answered, his clear violet eyes darkening with sadness, "but it does not seem likely, that it does not." Kenshin reached down to pick up the travel bags, slinging them over his right shoulder. He placed the blanket roll on top, then turned and walked out of the house.

Kioko noticed that he had forgotten the scarf. Picking it up, she hurried out after him. He was walking very carefully across the frozen snow towards a stand of hardwood trees. Drawing his sword, he flipped the blade and cut one of the saplings down. He cut it to length and began trimming off the branches, creating a serviceable walking staff.

"Kenshin!" she called out to him. She waved the scarf when he looked back at her. "Don't forget this! It can get really cold, even during the day. You don't need to get sick again." Kioko waited as he made his way back over to the house. Stepping down from the engawa, she wrapped the scarf securely around his neck, lifting his hair out of the way and tucking the ends inside the hanten. "Take care of yourself, Kenshin. I am so glad I got to meet you." She had to blink a couple of times, but no tears fell. "Now I expect you to stay at Toshiro's inn. I will find out if you don't and you **don't** want to see me when I get angry!"

Kenshin smiled at the idle threat. Bowing deeply, he said, "Domo arigatou gozaimasu, Kioko-dono, for everything you have done for sessha. It has been an honor to meet you, that it has." He turned away and began to walk down the path to the road.

With her hand resting lightly on Hebo's head, she watched until she could no longer see him. "Good luck, Kenshin," she whispered, "I hope you find what you're looking for."

**Owari**

* * *

**Author's Notes:** First, I want to thank everyone who read my story. This is my first attempt at writing fan fiction, so I apologize if it didn't turn out well. Any inaccuracies or out-of-character situations are due solely to my inexperience. I hope to get better with practice. The list of Japanese Words is after my reviewer responses. You have no idea how grateful I am to those readers who took the time to write a review. Thank you!

**Reviewer Responses:**

**Nekotsuki:** Thank you for being my very first reviewer! You were very kind and I greatly appreciated your comments about my mixing up the tenses when using "sessha." I absolutely love your story, _Tanabata Jasmine_! It's one of my favorites! The last chapter rocked! I can't wait for the next one, please update soon! You have done such a wonderful job of writing _Tanabata Jasmine_ and bringing Kenshin to life, that I hope you will continue to write Rurouni Kenshin fan fiction. We readers need more high quality Ruroken stories.

**Ms. Zeal:** Thank you for your great review! Thank you so very much for all the help you have given me! I don't think I would have posted _The Blizzard_, if it weren't for your encouragement. Praise from the author of great stories like _Darkness of the Heart of the Sword_ and _Mnemonic_ makes me positively blush!

**xZig-zagx:** Thank you for your kind review! I appreciate your taking the time to read and review my story. I understand about the difficulties of homework. I hope your instructors lighten up on you. After all, there is more to life than just hitting the books! Like writing fan fiction with your inimitable style. _Amber Eyed Angel_ is one of my favorite stories and I can't wait for the next chapter! Hint, hint. I hope I didn't make you wait too long for the conclusion of _The Blizzard_.

**animeinsomniac:** Thank you for the lovely review! I love your story, _Flowers of Blood_! Kohana is such a great character. I really like the interaction between her and Kenshin. I didn't mean to keep you in the dark about my writing, but I just wasn't sure that I would ever finish, much less post, my story. I am honored to think that you want to keep track of my stories. Yes, I am working on another one, although I don't know if I can pull it off. Please wish me luck.

**skenshingumi:** Thank you for your generous review! I really appreciate that you took the time to let me know what you liked about the first chapter of _The Blizzard_. I hope the ending didn't disappoint you.

**BakaBokken:** Thank you for your marvelous review! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to steal your story idea! I just thought that Hiko would have taught Kenshin how to play Igo because of the way it teaches strategic tactics. I'm really enjoying reading your stories, _Igo _and_ A Strong Will_! I hope you update them soon, 'cause I can't wait to find out what happens next. I hope you don't mind that I didn't have Kenshin tell Kioko more about Tomoe. It just seems to me that Kenshin is extremely sensitive about talking about Tomoe. I mean, look at how long it took him to tell the Kenshin-gumi. He didn't tell them until he was forced to by Enishi. Yes, both Kioko and Kenshin have lost their spouses, but Kenshin feels the additional pain and guilt of having accidently killed Tomoe, so I just couldn't see him telling Kioko about her. I decided to give Kenshin a break and not have him kill Kioko's brother. He's suffering from enough guilt as it is from hitting Kioko and scaring her half to death, without making him hurt the woman who rescued him even more.

**Danielle56:** Grazie! Thank you for your wonderful review! I really appreciate your kind words. I was warned that readers don't like long chapters. I'm glad that you didn't mind the length. I just couldn't find a better way to break up the story. I hope you weren't disappointed with the ending to the story.

**Japanese Words:**

**arigatou** - "thank you"

**baka** - idiot, fool, moron, etc; all-purpose and occasionally affectionate insult

**baka deshi** - idiot apprentice/student; what Hiko Seijuro XIII, Kenshin's Shishou, calls Himura Kenshin

**Bakufu** - military government of the Shogunate, which was overthrown by the Revolution

**Bakumatsu** - the late Tokugawa Shogunate Era, just before the Meiji Restoration; also another name for the civil war, which went from 1862-1868, that pitted the anti-emperor Shogunate forces against the pro-emperor Ishin Shishi forces

**Battousai** - the nickname for Himura Kenshin when he was a hitokiri, it means "master of the battou-jutsu sword technique" (Battou-jutsu is the act of whipping the sword out of the sheath, which can increase its speed twice or three fold. A great technique which can kill with one blow without taking a single blow from one's opponent.)

**Choushu** - one of the most anti-Shogun provinces, fought for the Ishin Shishi

**domo arigatou gozaimasu** - the most formal version of "thank you very much"

**-dono** - an honorific term one step above -san

**engawa** - porch

**gi** - kimono shirt; a fighter's or sword practitioner's shirt

**hai** - "yes"

**hakama** - a samurai's pleated skirt-like pants

**han** - clan

**hanten** - a short coat

**Hebo** - the name of the dog in the story _The Blizzard_, it means "clumsy"

**Himura Kenshin** - the main character of the anime series Rurouni Kenshin, created by Watsuke Nobuhiro; Kenshin means "heart of the sword"

**hitokiri** - manslayer or assassin

**Igo** - the Japanese name for the game of Go

**Imperialists **- another name for the pro-emperor Ishin Shishi forces

**Ishin Shishi** - the name given to the pro-emperor forces from Choushu and Satsuma during the Bakumatsu (another name for the civil war that pitted the anti-emperor Shogunate forces against the pro-emperor Ishin Shishi forces)

**Kami-sama** - Lord God

**katana** - Japanese sword

**Katsura Kogorou** - leader of the Choshu clan and one of the three leaders of the Ishin Shishi (the other two are Okubo Toshimichi and Saigo Takamori)**;** he is Himura Kenshin**'**s "boss"

**ki** - a person's "aura," or his swordfighting spirit

**Kioko** - a main character in the story _The Blizzard_, her name means "happy child"

**koishii** - beloved

**konbu** - dried kelp seaweed, used in making soups (particularly dashi)

**Koshi** - the name of a town in the story _The Blizzard_, it means "riverside"

**Meiji** - the name given posthumously to the 15 year-old Mutsuhito emperor who reigned after the end of the Tokugawa Era; it also refers to the government at that time, which started in 1868

**Matsukasa Inn** - the name of an Inn in the story _The Blizzard_, it means "pinecone"

**Matsutani** - the name of a town in the story _The Blizzard_, it means "pine valley"

**nani** - "what"

**ne** - "right" (as in "correct")

**ohayou** - "morning" (short version of "good morning")

**ohayou gozaimasu** - the polite version of "good morning"

**onegai** - "please"

**oro** - Nobuhiro Watsuki-sensei's made up word, in the Rurouni Kenshin anime series, Himura Kenshin's version of "huh?"

**oyasumi** - the short version of "good night"

**oyasumi-nasai** - "good night"

**Revolution** - another name for the civil war, also known as the Bakumatsu, which went from 1862-1868, that pitted the anti-emperor Shogunate forces against the pro-emperor Ishin Shishi forces (also known as the Bakumatsu)

**ronin **- a masterless samurai

**rurouni** - Nobuhiro Watsuki-sensei's made up word, in the Rurouni Kenshin anime series, it means "wanderer"

**sakabatou** - Nobuhiro Watsuki-sensei's made up word, in the Rurouni Kenshin anime series, it means "reverse blade sword"

**-san** - an honorific

**sessha** - an archaic Japanese term, literally "this unworthy one", how Himura Kenshin in the Rurouni Kenshin anime series refers to himself in first person

**Shishou** - a master teacher of swordsmanship; Himura Kenshin's master, Hiko Seijuro, the Thirteenth Master of Hiten Mitsurugi

**Shogunate** - the military rulers of Japan, they ruled from 1192-1867

**soba** - noodles made from buckwheat flour

**tabi** - split-toed socks, worn with zori sandals (flat-bottomed sandals)

**Tatsuo** - a character in the story, _The Blizzard_; Kioko's brother, he died at the end of the Bakumatsu

**Toba Fushimi** - the decisive battle in January, 1868, that effectively ended the Shogunate

**Tomoe** - Kenshin's wife, he accidentally killed her in a fight to the death with a Shogunate samurai

**Yamamori Toshiro** - a character in the story _The Blizzard_, his name means**:** Yamamori - "mountain forest;" Toshiro - "talented or intelligent"

**yukata** - bathrobe; light summer kimono; sleeping kimono, the shirt/kimono that goes under a gi


End file.
